At 10:21 pm last night the clock stopped for my father, Ralph Paul Gernhardt, (June 1, 1934 - June 4, 2006) as he took his last breathe on earth. Then he moved his soul to a more peaceful place to rest. To me, it felt like the grim reaper just ripped my heart out as it snatched his.
The cause of death, years and years of heavy cigarette smoking. There's a lesson to be learned and I listened. I quit smoking last August (14th) after we got the news from the doctors about my dads condition and deteriorating health.
His wish was granted to finish his final day's of life in his own home, with his children by his side.
The visitation will be Wednesday from 3 p.m. to 9 p.m. and funeral will be at 1 p.m. on Thursday. This will take place at Drake and Son's Funeral Home, 5303 North Western Avenue.
Godspeed dad. Rest in Peace. You touched the lives of so many different people - in so many different ways. You will be greatly missed my best friend, my mentor and my dear father.
6 comments:
Remembering Ralph Paul Gernhardt
When the phone call came at 10:45 p.m. on Sunday, June 4, it wasn't unexpected. Those who were close to what was going on knew that Ralph Paul Gernhardt was nearing the end of his battle with life. But we had hoped. We had hoped that somehow, someway the fates would be defied and that he would beat the illness that was taking him from us a little more each day. Oh, those fates can be cruel, and they usually come out the victor. And so, his son and daughter and those who were part of his far-reaching extended family had to sit back and let Ralph go. Yes, we knew that it was for the best; his illness had robbed him of so much of what we take for granted in life. And, yes, we refuse to listen to what our sensible voices told us was what was going to be.
But that doesn't make it any easier. We have lost a man who was an immensely important part of our lives. A father. A friend. A mentor. A pillar. Ralph was someone who would willing give you a shoulder to lean on as easily as he would give you a dose of reality that helped you look at life through his own eyes, eyes that had seen the world in its beauty and horror and found a way to find our place in that dichotomy.
Ralph was a man who had served his county and then served his community. He was, like it or not, a man who spoke his mind. But that mind had but one goal it in: Better. He wanted the world, for all of us, gay or straight, to be a better place to live. And that was his objective when he started Gay Chicago Magazine. He wanted the gay and lesbian population of Chicago to have a place where they could find out what was happening in its community and find like souls to share with and find camaraderie for facing the world.
Ralph wanted the gay and lesbian population of Chicago to be able to come together as one, whatever their individual interests may be. That was why he insisted that what readers found in the pages of Gay Chicago would appeal to a vast array of interests. Want to know about the new shows on Chicago stages? It's there. Want to know about legal and financial concerns? There are answers in the pages. Want to about the hottest new adult films? Gay Chicago has them. Ralph made certain that what we wanted to know about would be found each and every week in the pages of our magazine.
And maybe that's his greatest legacy. Ralph Paul Gernhardt gave the Chicago gay and lesbian community a place to find ways to have fun and enjoy life. Yes, the world is full of things that affect us on a political level, but he knew that our readers didn't come to us for that kind of information. He knew that they came to us because they wanted to have fun. And with his passing just days after the 2006 Grabby Awards, which recognize and celebrate achievements in the gay adult film industry, isn't that a fitting time to say goodbye to our friend? Here was a man who celebrated life in all of its forms, and we all owe him a great big thank you for that.
The gays and lesbians and transsexuals and questioning members of our community have heard the silencing of one of our greatest champions. I know that I have been devastated by the silence and will do all I can to make that voice be heard anew. Goodbye my friend, my beacon. I hope that your voice will live on through those you've taught so well.
Jeff Rossen
Gay Chicago Entertainment Editor
From reading Rossen's rememberance, I'd have to say
Ralph Gernhardt sounds like he was a mensch (sp?) ie. a stand up guy, a very honorable man.
I sympathize with you loss Craig.
I'm truly sorry about your Dad, Craig. I am glad for you though that you had such a great Dad and role model. I wish he could have stayed around longer for you and for the world because it sounds like he put alot into the stream of life. I am sure you are proud.
Good for you for quitting smoking too- it is so not worth losing years of life for such a trifle.
craig-
my deepest sympathy to you and your family. i'm not sure if there is anything more difficult than losing someone you love and sometimes words are just useless. so i decided to keep the sunrise photo up for the week in honor of your dad since it just seems to say more than i can right now.
my mom passed away more than twenty years ago from a lifetime of smoking and stress and her wish was to be home too. i moved in and we spent a few weeks together before she died and although it was one of the most painful experiences, it was the right thing to do.
after awhile, talking to others about how you feel might be helpful. anytime.
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