Rogers Park-- In an astonishing development Alderman Joe Moore admitted that he was the one the fired four shots on Jonquil and Paulina at approximately 5:30 this morning. Moore said he was told he could fire the starter's pistol for the annual Bike the Drive. When told the Bike the Drive started in Edgewater at Hollywood and Sheridan, Moore admitted shock and dismay. "No wonder all those Rogers Park Bikers ended up in the lake off of Rogers Park Beach. Can you believe how stupid some people are?"
Police diving unit was still pulling bodies from the lake as of noon Sunday.
"I intend to remedy this tragic mistake," Moore said, while declining to assist in giving mouth to mouth recessitation to people laid out on the beach and preening for the television cameras. "Once Lake Shore Drive is extended up into Roger Park, those people in Edgewater will have nothing left to brag about."
Craig Gernhardt, 49th Ward Blogger, called Moore a liar. "We know Joe Moore just wants to use this as an excuse so he can go on shooting sprees throughout Rogers Park now that the weather's getting nice. We know for a fact that he was the one behind the most recent shooting sprees in the Potowattomi Park area. The fact the Moore is shooting a pistol filled with blanks, makes the crime more heinous, because if he was a true leader, he'd use a gun with real bullets. Gernhardt continued to condemn Moore for hiding out and refusing to come to an unpublicized Prayer Circle. "Prayer Circles save lives," Gernhardt exclaimed. "I've been running around in circles for years, and no one has hit me yet. And when you pray and run around in circles, the people just think you're some kind of nut and leave you alone." Gernhardt admitted Prayer Circle or not, some people still thought he was a nut.
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Lorraine Swenson
Reporter
News Star
Rogers Park-- In an astonishing development Alderman Joe Moore admitted that he was the one the fired four shots on Jonquil and Paulina at approximately 5:30 this morning. Moore said he was told he could fire the starter's pistol for the annual Bike the Drive. When told the Bike the Drive started in Edgewater at Hollywood and Sheridan, Moore admitted shock and dismay. "No wonder all those Rogers Park Bikers ended up in the lake off of Rogers Park Beach. Can you believe how stupid some people are?"
Police diving unit was still pulling bodies from the lake as of noon Sunday.
"I intend to remedy this tragic mistake," Moore said, while declining to assist in giving mouth to mouth recessitation to people laid out on the beach and preening for the television cameras. "Once Lake Shore Drive is extended up into Roger Park, those people in Edgewater will have nothing left to brag about."
Craig Gernhardt, 49th Ward Blogger, called Moore a liar. "We know Joe Moore just wants to use this as an excuse so he can go on shooting sprees throughout Rogers Park now that the weather's getting nice. We know for a fact that he was the one behind the most recent shooting sprees in the Potowattomi Park area. The fact the Moore is shooting a pistol filled with blanks, makes the crime more heinous, because if he was a true leader, he'd use a gun with real bullets. Gernhardt continued to condemn Moore for hiding out and refusing to come to an unpublicized Prayer Circle. "Prayer Circles save lives," Gernhardt exclaimed. "I've been running around in circles for years, and no one has hit me yet. And when you pray and run around in circles, the people just think you're some kind of nut and leave you alone." Gernhardt admitted Prayer Circle or not, some people still thought he was a nut.
Can we keep the sarcasm down to a minimum.
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