I, PayRod, do solemnly swear that I will undermine the Constitutions of the United States and the State of Illinois, and that I will, according to my need, connections and personal financial and career goals, faithlessly, and subjectively perform only the duties enjoined on me as governor for the State of Illinois in the United States of America that benefit me, my cronies and those who are willing to pay for play in accordance with my best self interests, and that I will do everything in my power to block, frustrate and otherwise inhibit any worthwhile, productive or constructive advancements either legislatively or by executive order that do not directly enhance my personal gain, goals or ambition, so help me God……
Patti: *thinking* I can't believe I'm letting my father do this. Rod: And I swear on this bible to the state of -- *his hand he's got in the air hits him the face* OWWW!!! I HIT MY NOSE!! Patti, I think I'm bleeding. Get me a tissue please?
19 comments:
"I Mayor Quimby, do solemly swear..."
Pssst, hun... if you don't actually touch the fuckin' book, you'll still go to heaven. That's what daddy says....
"Don't I have nice hair?"
Patti, close your eyes sweetie. I'm going to lie when I put my hand on the Holy Bible.
He's saying, Craig, you're next
We're almost there Patti!... fuck yeah, that's it....that's it....they don't call me G-Rod for nothin'!!!
"Do you swear to tell the truth, nothing but the truth, so help you god....."
Fuck yeah, baby.....
she's thinking
..ohh my God..that big bird just crapped on my head.
wow ...maybe Lincoln himself swore on this very bible......ooh I could get serious coin for it on Ebay.
I, PayRod, do solemnly swear that I will undermine the Constitutions of the United States and the State of Illinois, and that I will,
according to my need, connections and personal financial and career goals, faithlessly, and subjectively perform only the duties enjoined on me as governor for the State of Illinois in the United States of America that benefit me, my cronies and those who are willing to pay for play in accordance with my best self interests, and
that I will do everything in my power to block, frustrate and otherwise inhibit any worthwhile, productive or constructive advancements either legislatively or by executive order that do not directly enhance my personal gain, goals or ambition, so help me God……
- PEACE -
...do solemnly swear, to uphold and exceed the high standards of ethical conduct set by my predecessors in this great State of Illinois...
Craig, my vote (not that I have one, this IS YOUR blog, afterall) goes to Gunga Dean.
So, what is the prize anyway?
- PEACE -
Patti: *thinking* I can't believe I'm letting my father do this.
Rod: And I swear on this bible to the state of -- *his hand he's got in the air hits him the face* OWWW!!! I HIT MY NOSE!! Patti, I think I'm bleeding. Get me a tissue please?
Patti, I'm glad this is an imitation Bible. If it were a real one, I would burst into flames when my hand touched it!
Patti:"Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under."
Rod: "I dare do all that may become a man. Who dares do more is none."
Patrick (off stage):"By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes."
Credits: Will Shakespeare
No no Rod, raise your hand nice honey.
Remember, we don't do "Mr. Hitler Time" in public.
I...do solemnly swear to uphold the tradition of Illinois Governors and eventually go to the big house for a long, long time.
Rod, I distinctly remember telling you to get a manicure before the inauguration, and you said you had.
Are you lying to me?
"Do you swear to sell the seat, the whole seat, and nothing but the seat?" I Do.
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