Saturday, March 14, 2009

Caption Contest


Needless to say, Michael James isn't too pleased with me this morning. According to James, my publicity has caused 30 employees of his to be out of work. (Even though he says he doesn't read the blog.) I tried to explain to him my blog didn't do that, his mice infested place did. The black slime dripping into the ice-machine did. He wouldn't listen. Anyway, James, on crutches, was out on the corner this AM, pleading his case to anyone who would listen.

On that note, let's have a caption contest. The prize is dinner for two at the Heartland Cafe when they re-open. It'll be on me.

RELATED:
Now Michael James Gets Bent Out of Shape.

16 comments:

RP36 said...

"Not only does Craig help keep the rents low around here but he also makes people lose their jobs, with his daily rants".

Al Iverson said...

Actually, I think you should make the prize dinner for two at RoPa, a place more deserving of our hard-earned money, IMHO.

Craig Gernhardt said...

A reader who doesn't want to sign up a google account for some reason, sent this to me via email. I don't know if they're going to be in the running or not, we'll see if any better one's come in.

Here goes....

==="Say it ain't so, Joe. You were always my crutch. Now I have make do with these stupid wooden things..."===

Craig Gernhardt said...

"Hey, man. I'm out of work today. I need some money for my inhaler. Can you spare some change?"

Al Iverson said...

DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH???

Ryne said...

"I know you two don't live here but can I count on your votes for my friend joey moore in the election"

Bill Brock said...

I got food poisoning at the Heartland circa 1989 (chicken salad).

Craig Gernhardt said...

Ya' know guys, I learned a lesson. The next time Anne Sullivan wants a discount on the sautéed vegetable tofu with the spicy sauce, I'm going to give it to her..."

Unknown said...

"All of our menu options are loaded with vitamins, nutrients, and mold. These ingredients enable your body to achieve maximum physical fitness. Look no further than yours truly."

Rogers Park Vigilance said...

"So I said to the health inspector... "Didn't Joe have your check?""

xenopus said...

"Rogers Park fixture infested with vermin. Never Again!"

anomadic.1 said...

I am happy to see that i was not the only one who has caught
V.D. (Vomiting & Diarrhea)from this place.

Rogers Park Vigilance said...

I'd just like to say if I'd happen to win the caption contest, give it to someone LESS deserving than myself...

Phred said...

Trash the Heartland all you want.

Just try to remember how really shitty this part of RP would become if they closed the place down.

Sallie said...

"I know, I'm stunned. We been makin people sick for 20 years and no one's ever had the nerve to call it in. I told Joe this development shit would come back to bite us."

Motorbreath Mike said...

You know, I actually did some research, and this would be the first time in the Heartland Cafe's entire existence that they have been closed down for any food or sanitation violations.

And I have to agree with the blogger who said that if the Heartland Cafe closed down that the area around the Heartland Cafe would go to shit.

If it Wasn't for the Heartland Cafe, there'd be an open air drug market, and all sorts of other crap on that corner - but no one else seems to see that.

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