PETA spokeswoman Jackie Vergerio.
Have no fear PETA - You don't have to worry. Hey Terminix Man, if your thinking of fighting this, you don't stand a chance buddy.
When it comes to cruel and inbug practices, (or just a good story in the media) you can count on Alderman Moore to be there to save the day for PETA. He did it once, he can do it again.
Don't worry you defenseless cockroaches. I smell a resolution brewing on your behalf. Let me get the ball rolling.
Whereas - Cockroaches never hurt anyone,
Whereas - Cockroaches only come out in the dark,
Whereas - Cockroaches have been around since earth cooled,
Whereas - Cockroaches serve a purpose in eating rotting food that's been left out for hours,
Whereas - Six Flags Great America, (like those nasty big boxes) the big bad corporate giant is capitalizing on the poor cockroach by staging a cockroach eating contest,
Whereas - Cockroaches are part of the fabric of a badly managed, rundown building - owned by a slumlord like my campaign contributing buddy Jay Johnson owns,
Therefore - Cockroaches must not be eaten for entertainment purposes by large cooperate giants and saved for the slum properties in which they so love to exist.
So, here be it, On this day, the 24th, the month of September, in the year of 2006 - with the absolute power vested in me as 49th ward Alderman in the City of Chicago, of the county of Cook - I Joe "No Foie Gras" Moore, now bug rights activist, champion of the orthopterous insect, declare the cockroach (kok~roh) off-limits for eating contests.
How's that PETA? Now, one more thing, don't forget the check, payable to the Cockroaches for Joe Moore.
Blognotes:
This is just a lighthearted parody resolution. Any likeness to Alderman Moore's real life - time and tax dollar wasting resolutions - like his quacky 'Save the Ducks' campaign is strictly coincidental.
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