Friday, June 15, 2007
* Zero Tolerance on Curfew Violators
It's about time. Let's start fining these lazy parents $500 everytime their kid violates curfew. $1000 for a second offense. You don't pay in time. Double it. I bet these parents start keeping track of their kids after a couple of these tickets are issued. If you're going to crack down hard on the dog owners, do the same with parents.
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7 comments:
Good idea, except that parents should be given the opportunity to show that they did everything they could to be proper parents. Some kids are just IMPOSSIBLE- and when a kid is, a parent has a difficult time getting law enforcement to support him in disciplining the kid. I know a parent in another city in this desperate case right now- two great kids but one who is totally intractable. Just try keeping the kid in when he outweighs you and his father both and is willing to hurt you both to get his way.
I wondered what ever happened to curfew laws. They were strictly enforced when I was a kid, but resulted in detention for the kid, not a fine for the parents. Friend of mine got picked up for it a lot- she would sneak out of the house at 2 AM to go wandering around the nabe, mostly to feel like she was being really wild.
It really is a better idea to punish the kid. Punishment for the parents should really be reserved for cases where it can be shown that the parent was very negligent, or spoiled and enabled the kid.
"Punishment for the parents should really be reserved for cases where it can be shown that the parent was very negligent, or spoiled and enabled the kid."
Yes, North Coast, I agree with you in theory, but don't you think that many of the problems we're having with youth in RP are the direct result of negligent, spoiling, and enabling parents? So many of these apathetic parents don't care what their kids do until the consequences cost them money. If it's going to take a hit in the wallet to make them pay attention to their kids, I totally support curfew fines!
I agree with you on this, that we have many negligent parents whose kids are causing big problems in the area. I see way too many kids under age 12 running the streets late at night.
Where the parent can be proven negligent, s/he should be fined.
However, you have to remember that past a certain age, and size, you can do nothing with the kid if s/he decides to be willful and defiant, except put them out of the house, which most parents will never do unless the kid is a direct threat to the family, and, unfortunately, you get no help from the authorities. Someone I know with an extremely defiant and aggressive 17-year-old has called the police to her home over this kid numerous times because the kid started breaking up furniture and shoving her across the room, and the police response was, "aaawww, it's just furniture". I once witnessed a friend get shoved across the room by her 17-year-old, 6'4" tall 240 lb. hulk of a kid while dad stood by and did nothing, which was all he could do because he was so much smaller than the kid. There's no accounting for some kids, who seem to be born with a much higher level of aggression plus bigger arm muscles than the rest. All you can do, it seems, is do your best and hope they don't kill you in your sleep.
I feel sorry for many parents, I tell ya. I 'm glad I'm not one.
So...when a kid is a problem, vandalizes, stays out late, is truant, whatever, you first verify what the parents did or did not do to get the kid in hand. If they are slobs who didn't lift a finger or open their mouths, well, fine them. Ask, did you seek counseling? Have you sought help by other means? What have you done, as a parent, to change your child's behavior? If the parent gave it her or his absolute best shot, leave her or him alone.
But law enforcement could do more, and one of them is to back up the authority of the parent, which, from what I can tell, the police fail to do. When some frantic mother calls the police to her home because her kid broke every piece of furniture in the house and is going to work on the glassware because she flushed his dope down the commode, don't DISRESPECT HER IN FRONT OF HER KID, and dismiss her complaint with "aaawww, it's just furniture", or, even worse, treat HER like she's a miscreant child because you think she's a bad momma for going out on a date once a week.Having been raised by a divorcee, I can tell you for a fact that single mothers get routinely dissed and chided by the law enforcement people, teachers, and counselors who ought to be backing up their authority before their kids, not undermining it by criticizing their mothering in front of their kids. Especially when they critisize a single mother for actions or behaviors they would find no fault with in an 'intact' married couple.
If I had threatened to put my hands on either of my parents, vandalized their property, ignored curfew laws, etc., I guarantee you that I would not be here today to comment on this blog. Such egregious behavior was NEVER tolerated, period by the people who raised my generation. Unfortunately, we now live in a society where social service agencies and child protective services penalize decent parents for attempting to maintain rules and regulations in their homes. The cops don't want to deal with problem kid cases anymore than they want to deal with domestic disputes. Add irresponsible parents to the mix, and you have a generation of rude, out-of-control, undisciplined kids and teens with entitlement attitudes.
Some of the suburbs have very strong curfew laws. The cops are swift to pick the kids up and the fees are stiff. A friend of mine saw to it that their kid toed the line after they had to come out of their pocket a few times for curfew offenses. Chicago needs to have stronger curfew laws and enforce them.
The woman whose kid breaks the furniture, lives in a rich,liberal,permissive suburb of St. Louis. For every burb with strong curfew laws, there are a dozen that enable spoiled brats in their ways.
Broken furniture is the least of it. While still too young to drive, this kid stole out of the house in the early AM and took the car on a joyride with a key he had tucked away for the purpose. He wrecked the transmission and abondoned the car on a parking lot. The mother cannot prove he did this, but she has figured it out. Curfew laws are not enforced in this town, and parents who try to enforce rules and discipline receive no support from law enforcement or other parents. The counselors don't help- the kid goes to counseling as ordered but then bucks out because he doesn't "like" his counselor.
I hate to see a parent in such a predicament, who is really exerting herself to bring the kid to heel, punished for his crimes. Also, fining the parent instead of punishing the kid enables the kid in the idea that OTHER people are responsible for his behavior. He needs to learn that HE is responsible for his behavior.
Another thing I've noticed is that it is now considered cruel to make your teen do household chores. Is it an act of brutality to make your brat clean her filthy bedroom or wash dishes, or make the brat mow the lawn or haul out the trash?
Another idiotic notion that seems to have a lot of currency with the child guidance "experts" is that you should not tie your kid's allowance to the performance of household chores and/or school performance. Why not,might I ask? Whence comes such an asinine idea? The kid needs to learn that his future income will definately be connected to his future performance, so why should he not have to work for his allowance? I would like some child psychologist or social worker to clue me in on the reasoning behind the notion that the kid should be given an allowance not connected to any sort of work. Same thing goes for car priveleges and time out of the house to go on dates and to favorite hangouts- these are privileges that should be earned.
And so help me Gods, if I see another teen with $400 shoes, a new car, and a $300 Baby Phat cellphone + a pink i-pod whose mom looks like nanny and hasn't had a new dress for 4 years, I will lose control of myself. Mom and Dad should get the luxuries. Let the kids have something to work for.
Having kids learn how to do housework is cruelty? Associating allowance with work is wrong? If children are the future, then the child "experts" are assuring that it will be a dismal one.
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